Monday, September 19, 2011

Loosing a Loved One

I have a friend that lost her father over the weekend, I am overwhelmed with sadness. It is odd, I don't know her well or have ever met her father. The few moments that I spent with her recently she seems depressed, not overwhelmed with emotion.  I left her house and fell apart. She always seems sad, a bit like me. I have lost a lot in my life. So has this friend, she lost her mother to cancer at young age and seems to me that she has seen a lot at her age. I am not that much older, 8 years, but we seem similar. I have seen a lot that makes me sad about life. As my friend has, I too have lost a lot of people who meant the world to me. It is hard sometimes for me to have strong relationships with people I like, because I know it all goes away in the end. I want to tell my friend that things get better, easier with time. I can't tell her lies. It just fades away and it pisses me off that I can't remember. I miss faces, hands, laughs, smells that are getting weaker and weaker each day. How do you preserve this?

Pictures aren't the same but it can help. Video is nice...but takes planning before time of death. Who knows that? I wish I had a book, for the people I've lost, like I made for my autistic student when I left teaching. It was a picture of me an who I was and I why I was proud of the student and what we had learned together and then blank pages he could write to me when he was sad/ frustrated  about my departure. This was a great healing tool for him and in my opinion would be for those who lost a loved one.  It would also help me not forget those details about the ones I lost in this life.
Wake/ funerals are just odd and a whirlwind of people you don't know. I think folks would say that my book idea is a tad morbid, I think that funerals are worst. I need closure and departure but a funeral should be more for the living than the dead and mostly it is geared for the dead.  The person's soul should shine through the day and be celebrated, cherished and honored.
That typically sad day ends and the sadness continues with nothing to do with the emotion and pain that you hold on to for ever. There is not a happy memory that I look back on and the tinge of sadness is non-existent, there is not a moment that I wish that person was not there with me on this earth in this life, I am selfish. It has not gotten easier, the funeral was not closure. I am unsure what I believe of the after life. All I know is they are not here with me and dreams and a red-tailed hawk*** are not suitable substitutes.
I know that every thing is cyclical and you can't have one with out the other but, again I am selfish, I am unsure how the loss I felt at the age of 3 and many times after has any real positive effects. I would never be able to weigh the positive effects if those people had been left in my life. I feel very certain that things would have been very different. People would say 'things happen for a reason', I just don't buy it. 
If I cant have those people back then at least tell me why or let me hold on to memories forever with out fading.

*** ill explain the red-tailed hawk stories when I feel inspired

Friday, September 9, 2011

I Love to Travel

I had an awesome summer. We have much better jobs that have given us the opportunity to travel with our families this summer. My sister graduated with her undergrad  in May and a week later my hubby finished his master's degree. That weekend we took a trip to the Outer Banks of NC with my mom, sister and hubby's parents and some of our good friends too. We had a great week.


A month later we took a trip to Indian Beach and Beauford, NC for  a friends wedding. The reception took place on the wharf in Beauford. It was wonderful weather and allowed Jason and I celebrate our 4th anniversary.

In July, we took a trip to visit a close friend who had relocated to Asheville, NC we had a great time drinking, telling stories and hanging out in the mountains.
Last month we were able to visit my dad in  Charlotte, NC and cruise the lake and swim in the coves. My mom also arranged for us to go to the coast of VA to visit our Great-aunt at her home. I loved that trip and still look back on that trip with much fondness.

Over Labor day weekend, we went back to the mountains to celebrate two awesome birthdays and found ourselves floating on the river, eating great food and relaxing.

I am heading to Charlottesville, VA this weekend for work. I have a lot to do at the store while I am there, but it is always nice to get back to the cool mountains. I wont have an opportunity to really enjoy the area. At least I get paid to travel to somewhere rather awesome.
I can only hope that this fall and winter will afford us the opportunities to travel more.
We already know we are traveling to Dallas, TX for Thanksgiving. We are trying to make plans to get to New Hampshire for the birth of our friends' 1st child and Eugene, OR to check out the doctorate program for my Hubby.
I also accomplished a lot of craftiness!! That's for next post!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Brevard, NC

 Zinnias and monarch near the cabin at "Down to Earth" in Brevard, NC. We took a family vacation over Labor Day to celebrate my Mom and Hubby's milestone Birthdays.
 The French Broad that we later floated down in a inner tube, it was lovely and cool.
 View towards Tenn. from the Pisgah National Park. It was really overcast and rained the entire morning of the last day, but we had awesome weather prior.
 Falls near Graveyard Fields, this photo doesn't do it much justice but, it was Labor day and it was very busy and tons of people. It was hard for us to get a shot that didn't have a human body part in it. It was beautiful and there were hints of fall in the air.
One of the Cabins similar to ours. The cabin we rented was two story and had a wrap deck with table and grill.  They all had beautiful stain glass in most windows and simple decorations and tons of books to read. The creek near by was a nice touch. I didn't take a picture of our cabin. The whole thing was covered in kudzu. It was odd in a quaint way. We had an awesomely relaxing weekend.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Kaffe Quilt

 Here is the quilt top taped to the hardwood floor. I was preparing to add the back and batting. I do not use binding. It is not traditional or a particularly good way of making an amazing Kaffe quilt. I honestly am afraid of using a binding. I have never seen anyone put one on, I think that would be all it would take. I am a visual person and I grasp things if I can watch someone. I don't do well with written or spoken instructions.
 The quilt on bed at the house we rented this weekend in the NC mountains near Brevard, NC.
The sky light highlighted it perfectly.
 I stitched in 'the ditches' on this one between the diamonds. I like the way it turned out. It allowed the patchwork to show off. Creating the patchwork is seriously my favorite part of making a quilt. I hate putting them together. It is heavy and alot of effort. I am not a perfectionist so it never is as good as it should be, its the love I put in it. I think of the person that I am making it for a lot and send them my love as I make the item. It is easy to think of my amazing Mom!
Here is my happy Mama with her quilt. Happy Birthday Mom! I love you! She absolutely loved it.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Kaffe in Pieces

I made this Kaffe quilt for my Mom's Birthday this past weekend.  I was unable to share the process of making this quilt for fear she would see. I picked out the fat quarters for the most part back in February. I have been thinking about and planning this quilt for quite sometime. Of course I left the task of quilting until the morning of leaving for the trip. I am a major procrastinator. It is a genetic thing I believe. I am however more proud of the work that went into this quilt more than anything I have ever made. I absolutely love this quilt. Here area few shots from construction.
Rough rectangles that I pressed, starched and trimmed to perfection.
My two different sides of the triangles
Here are my triangles laid out on the futon. The instructions in the Kaffe Fassett book made it impossible to mess this quilt up. They were simply detailed instructions.
I love this shot on the clothes line, even if I forgot to rotate the picture before uploading. This is just the top no borders, no backing. My diamond points do not match up perfectly, Kaffe may not be as proud as I am of this quilt. Hey, it was my first of hopefully many more.