Loosing a Loved One

I have a friend that lost her father over the weekend, I am overwhelmed with sadness. It is odd, I don't know her well or have ever met her father. The few moments that I spent with her recently she seems depressed, not overwhelmed with emotion.  I left her house and fell apart. She always seems sad, a bit like me. I have lost a lot in my life. So has this friend, she lost her mother to cancer at young age and seems to me that she has seen a lot at her age. I am not that much older, 8 years, but we seem similar. I have seen a lot that makes me sad about life. As my friend has, I too have lost a lot of people who meant the world to me. It is hard sometimes for me to have strong relationships with people I like, because I know it all goes away in the end. I want to tell my friend that things get better, easier with time. I can't tell her lies. It just fades away and it pisses me off that I can't remember. I miss faces, hands, laughs, smells that are getting weaker and weaker each day. How do you preserve this?

Pictures aren't the same but it can help. Video is nice...but takes planning before time of death. Who knows that? I wish I had a book, for the people I've lost, like I made for my autistic student when I left teaching. It was a picture of me an who I was and I why I was proud of the student and what we had learned together and then blank pages he could write to me when he was sad/ frustrated  about my departure. This was a great healing tool for him and in my opinion would be for those who lost a loved one.  It would also help me not forget those details about the ones I lost in this life.
Wake/ funerals are just odd and a whirlwind of people you don't know. I think folks would say that my book idea is a tad morbid, I think that funerals are worst. I need closure and departure but a funeral should be more for the living than the dead and mostly it is geared for the dead.  The person's soul should shine through the day and be celebrated, cherished and honored.

That typically sad day ends and the sadness continues with nothing to do with the emotion and pain that you hold on to for ever. There is not a happy memory that I look back on and the tinge of sadness is non-existent, there is not a moment that I wish that person was not there with me on this earth in this life, I am selfish. It has not gotten easier, the funeral was not closure. I am unsure what I believe of the after life. All I know is they are not here with me and dreams and a red-tailed hawk*** are not suitable substitutes.
I know that every thing is cyclical and you can't have one with out the other but, again I am selfish, I am unsure how the loss I felt at the age of 3 and many times after has any real positive effects. I would never be able to weigh the positive effects if those people had been left in my life. I feel very certain that things would have been very different. People would say 'things happen for a reason', I just don't buy it. 
If I cant have those people back then at least tell me why or let me hold on to memories forever with out fading.

*** ill explain the red-tailed hawk stories when I feel inspired

I Love to Travel

I had an awesome summer. We have much better jobs that have given us the opportunity to travel with our families this summer. My sister graduated with her undergrad  in May and a week later my hubby finished his master's degree. That weekend we took a trip to the Outer Banks of NC with my mom, sister and hubby's parents and some of our good friends too. We had a great week.

A month later we took a trip to Indian Beach and Beauford, NC for  a friends wedding. The reception took place on the wharf in Beauford. It was wonderful weather and allowed Jason and I celebrate our 4th anniversary.

In July, we took a trip to visit a close friend who had relocated to Asheville, NC we had a great time drinking, telling stories and hanging out in the mountains.
Last month we were able to visit my dad in  Charlotte, NC and cruise the lake and swim in the coves. My mom also arranged for us to go to the coast of VA to visit our Great-aunt at her home. I loved that trip and still look back on that trip with much fondness.

Over Labor day weekend, we went back to the mountains to celebrate two awesome birthdays and found ourselves floating on the river, eating great food and relaxing.

I am heading to Charlottesville, VA this weekend for work. I have a lot to do at the store while I am there, but it is always nice to get back to the cool mountains. I wont have an opportunity to really enjoy the area. At least I get paid to travel to somewhere rather awesome.
I can only hope that this fall and winter will afford us the opportunities to travel more.
We already know we are traveling to Dallas, TX for Thanksgiving. We are trying to make plans to get to New Hampshire for the birth of our friends' 1st child and Eugene, OR to check out the doctorate program for my Hubby.
I also accomplished a lot of craftiness!! That's for next post!

Brevard, NC

 Zinnias and monarch near the cabin at "Down to Earth" in Brevard, NC. We took a family vacation over Labor Day to celebrate my Mom and Hubby's milestone Birthdays.

 The French Broad that we later floated down in a inner tube, it was lovely and cool.

 View towards Tenn. from the Pisgah National Park. It was really overcast and rained the entire morning of the last day, but we had awesome weather prior.

 Falls near Graveyard Fields, this photo doesn't do it much justice but, it was Labor day and it was very busy and tons of people. It was hard for us to get a shot that didn't have a human body part in it. It was beautiful and there were hints of fall in the air.

One of the Cabins similar to ours. The cabin we rented was two story and had a wrap deck with table and grill.  They all had beautiful stain glass in most windows and simple decorations and tons of books to read. The creek near by was a nice touch. I didn't take a picture of our cabin. The whole thing was covered in kudzu. It was odd in a quaint way. We had an awesomely relaxing weekend.

Kaffe Quilt

 Here is the quilt top taped to the hardwood floor. I was preparing to add the back and batting. I do not use binding. It is not traditional or a particularly good way of making an amazing Kaffe quilt. I honestly am afraid of using a binding. I have never seen anyone put one on, I think that would be all it would take. I am a visual person and I grasp things if I can watch someone. I don't do well with written or spoken instructions.

 The quilt on bed at the house we rented this weekend in the NC mountains near Brevard, NC.
The sky light highlighted it perfectly.

 I stitched in 'the ditches' on this one between the diamonds. I like the way it turned out. It allowed the patchwork to show off. Creating the patchwork is seriously my favorite part of making a quilt. I hate putting them together. It is heavy and alot of effort. I am not a perfectionist so it never is as good as it should be, its the love I put in it. I think of the person that I am making it for a lot and send them my love as I make the item. It is easy to think of my amazing Mom!

Here is my happy Mama with her quilt. Happy Birthday Mom! I love you! She absolutely loved it.

Kaffe in Pieces

I made this Kaffe quilt for my Mom's Birthday this past weekend.  I was unable to share the process of making this quilt for fear she would see. I picked out the fat quarters for the most part back in February. I have been thinking about and planning this quilt for quite sometime. Of course I left the task of quilting until the morning of leaving for the trip. I am a major procrastinator. It is a genetic thing I believe. I am however more proud of the work that went into this quilt more than anything I have ever made. I absolutely love this quilt. Here area few shots from construction.
Rough rectangles that I pressed, starched and trimmed to perfection.

My two different sides of the triangles

Here are my triangles laid out on the futon. The instructions in the Kaffe Fassett book made it impossible to mess this quilt up. They were simply detailed instructions.

 

I love this shot on the clothes line, even if I forgot to rotate the picture before uploading. This is just the top no borders, no backing. My diamond points do not match up perfectly, Kaffe may not be as proud as I am of this quilt. Hey, it was my first of hopefully many more.

Tornado, Earthquake, Hurricane...Time to Quilt

We had a tornado had a back in the spring that was life changing, on Tuesday the earth shook beneath our feet here in Raleigh from the earthquake in VA. Today, I am sitting here huddled on the couch with my hubby watching footage of the hurricane Irene battering our NC coast line. We too are seeing affects of the storm. Lots of debris on the road, bands of heavy rain and super gusts of wind. Overall a grey nasty day. We are not suffering here only the poor palm on the deck has been pushed over twice.  There has been many reports of flooding on the Pamlico Sound near New Bern. People are in their attics with 12 foot storm serge in their bottom floors. It is heart breaking to watch.  Sand and debris  is blowing in some places while it is being washed away in other areas.  It is really hard to think about all the clean-up that it will require. We are feeling very fragile, small and vulnerable. It is challenging for me to watch the world around me crumbling and changing. I want to think of things as static, but days like today remind me how little I can control on this earth and how ever changing they are. The one thing I can count on, is how much I enjoy making quilts and how calming it is to me. So, it is time to go quilt and turn off the TV.

I leave you with two  more lovely shots of  last weeks North Carolina State Flea Market. I Love NC!

Crochet for Babies

I have 3 friends/family members expecting babies in the next few months. I have been working on hats, booties and eventually a sweater. I was having a hard time deciding what colors to go for, because I don't know the sex of any of the babies. I finally settled on a pale green and white combination. I am happy with it, fairly gender neutral. I worked in a baby section of a department store at one point and I absolutely hate how baby clothes are super specific to a gender. It is very hard to find gender neutral clothing. I love making handmade items for babies. It takes much less supplies and time to create a one of a kind cherish-able gift.
I have had a hard time finding free patterns of things I like. I like a more simplistic modern style. Most free patterns I find are from the 60's/70's with crazy decoration on it.  I have made all the hats up as I go along and ripping out rows if I don't like it. I think this is why I am afraid of knitting because you cant rip out rows if want a different size.  I am a bit concerned about trying to do the sweater with out a pattern. I have looked at quite a bit of images and I know what I want. I am just not sure about making the shoulder join to the sleeve.  I will keep you updated on these projects.

Farmers Market Ya'll

Yummy grape tomatoes.

 These are funny little mini-eggplants "Kermit" they totally remind me of Kermie's eye balls. They were about the size of a ping pong. I wish I knew how to cook more vegetables like this one.

 These are gooood tomatoes.

Amazing Apples!

I am blown away that these apples are here, is it fall? They are very tasty evident of the summer sweet heat and rain we have had recently.

Oak City Treasures

Its become a thing to go to the flee market on my weekend off. I never really had weekends off since I was 16 and had my first job. Well, maybe not that long but, it has been awhile. I am enjoying, it makes me smile.
I have been looking for small home decorations that remind me of NC. I recently found this oak leaf shelf at the flea market. The guy wanted $3- sold! I love this little shelf it is awesome for the crystals and shells I have collected.

 

 I really liked the Indian bags that were made of leather and woven pieces. They wanted too much for the bags. I would have bought if they weren't $40, I am sure they are worth it but, I wasn't that loaded.

One guy had all of these large pieces of coral.  I am not sure what I would do with it but, they sure are pretty. I love organic forms. Yes, those are my green toes and hubby's abnormally long ones. Not pictured prizes are NC state glass with wolf. maybe 70's  for $2, and a Jersey for hubby, NC state Basketball- I think he paid $7.
We did rather well and had a bit left over for the farmers market. Pictures Tomorrow

Good Summer Eats!

 Have I ever mentioned that I live really close to the NC state farmers market... so close that it is dangerous. We have had fresh corn and peaches in our home for the last 2 months. I am not really sure what I am going to do with out it. I buy the peaches from Pee Dee Orchards stand at the farmers market, there are many other options but, theirs are the best, sweet and juicy. Their orchards are loacted in the Sandhills part of NC. We drove past the hwy road stand every time we went to my Mom's hometown when I was a kid. If we timed the drive right you could stop to get homemade peach ice cream. The Pee Dee Orchard family produces an amazing tasting freestone peach.

The lady who sells the corn out of the bed of her truck wears a shirt that says, "Born to Sell Corn". I love it, I love her sweet southern drawl too! You can get Silver Queen from other trucks, but my lady sells a variety of corn called Delirious. Oh my, it makes me feel really delirious, it has a crisp and creamy flavor. It makes me delirious happy to pay her $5 to get 20 ears of corn.
Hubby makes a mean meal and made an awesome piece of Sockeye with cool fresh herbs on top.  Don't you wish you could come eat dinner with me?
If you are really nice I might try to make a peach cobbler. It wont be as good as my grandmother's. I haven't actually made one of these this summer. I feel this is a dessert that requires vanilla ice cream. I quit eating dairy about 8 months ago and I haven't enjoyed any ice cream replacement since (or found one under $3).
Can say that I made the tabbouleh, I wish I could say that the tomatoes came from our garden. Ours just didn't make it in the heat. There are fabulous heirloom tomatoes that have an amazing flavor and texture at the farmers market. We are so fortunate to have the treasure of the farmers market so close, but sometimes we wish there was a CSA option at the farmers market that was affordable. We are not vegetarians and Hubby is a well versed cook, but we lack the time to prepare food. I wish I was a better planner with food. The corn and peaches are wonderful rather immediately. Brussels Sprouts and Eggplant are not and greens go bad too fast.  I think I am need to learn how to can peaches and freeze corn so I can have it in January.

Still a Kid

 I am close to being on this earth for ahem, 30 years. I still feel like a kid, with more responsibilities I don't really want. I am messy, sightly irresponsible and still trying to get a hang on what is going on out side of my brain. There are things that I have not lost, and do not plan on loosing. 1. Love of friendship bracelets. I made many back in the day. We started selling these at the store and I fell in love all over again. This falls right in lines with wearing stacks of colored bangles, I do this on the regular also. I have hardly taken off the colorful patterns of the friendship bracelets 2. Doodleing....I also have done more henna drawings. I have a blast doing it. I like doodles, free flow drawing. I am not very good at it but, something in my being wants me to do it. Henna is an awesome medium for me as is a thin tip prisma color. 3. Is swimming in a river/ lake.  I don't do this enough. I crave to swim in water the color of the earth and smell like rain. I love finding a cool spot and balancing on a float until I become like a prune. I am a water child. I need it, it needs me. Floating is something I must do more and hope to do this weekend with my Dad at the lake.

4. Swinging, 

high, 

working hard, 

and getting up there, 

pumping my legs and flying. 

Laying back, 

locked elbows, 

knees straight, 

toes pointed. 

Soaring through the air weightless,

careless.

Business Statement to Live By

Continue the traditional crafts skills by bringing them into today’s environment.

This is what I do and want to develop!